motivation

Motivation vs Self-Discipline

“Motivation is BS. Self disciple is everything.” ~Author unknown

I recently read this statement and had to ponder it for a moment. A huge part of being a Personal Trainer/Coach is encouraging and motivating people. Whether it be positive feedback on their training and nutrition habits or a high five for showing up and bringing their A-game, the list could go on for a while, but it’s what we do. I also simply love giving affirmation and encouragement to my clients. My #1 Love Language is Words of Affirmation so clearly I am wired to affirm others as this is also how I want to receive love.

However… once I dove a little deeper and read the definition of these two words I was able to distinctly see the difference.

MOTIVATION is defined as the general desire or willingness of someone to do something.

SELF DISCIPLINE is defined as the ability to control one's feelings and overcome one's weaknesses; the ability to pursue what one thinks is right despite temptations to abandon it.

The biggest difference between the two is one’s desire versus one’s ability. In the grand scheme of life, there is nothing wrong with offering words of encouragement and motivation; however, I cannot be the sole person to get clients to reach their goals. There must be an internal self-discipline that carries one through in the good and hard times.

For example,
When we don’t want to show up to train,
When we want to binge,
When we want to go on a bender,
When we let that person back in our life because it feels good momentarily…
We have to draw the line and hone the self-discipline that is deep inside our hearts. The desire to do something is fleeting, but the ability to overcome weakness is permanent.

self discipline

Thankfully, I was taught self-discipline at a young age. I can vividly remember days I did not want to get up at ass-crack of dawn to go to cross country practice, or putting off completing my thesis to the final days, or getting up day after day to go to a corporate job I hated, but self-discipline was so engrained in my being that I knew I had no choice to not go to practice because then I would let my teammates down as well as not be the best athlete I could be that season. I knew I had to finish my thesis to complete my Masters program so it didn’t matter what excuses I made or how much my professor motivated me to get it done, I had to dig deep within and make it happen. I knew I had no choice to not show up to my corporate job or I would be sleeping in my car with zero money and going no where fast. In retrospect, that job taught me so many things and especially self-discipline. Would I ever go back to that life, HELL NO, but I am thankful for the experience.

My dad used to say, “you can lead a horse to water, but you can’t make it drink.” In other words, I can give you all the love, encouragement, affirmation, and motivation your heart desires, because I love doing so and if it is the right setting. However, at the end of the day, it comes down to what you really want and the ability to pursue it regardless of the temptations that come your way.

Recognize your triggers and practice self-discipline daily, because in the end you will see positive change.

Problems are not problems

“Problems are not problems. They are subconscious patterns that need to be adjusted. Adjust patterns in your subconscious and you can adjust so many things in your life.” Dandapani

The quote above resonated with me very deeply when I heard it on my favorite podcast, Mind Pump, this week. Check out the episode HERE.

Currently, the problem I am battling is learning how to date in this online world. It is a doozie. A game of process of elimination and learning how to pinpoint men who are ready for something more or who simply want fun. After listening to this podcast episode, I had a paradigm shift, game changer, AhHa moment! It helped me to understand this problem is not a problem, but a subconscious pattern that needs to shift.

My shift is looking like this…

Quote
  • Choosing to not succumb to the negative bull shit that people tell me, or I read on social media, or hear on TV.

  • Choosing to take a stand for what I believe is true and that I know in my heart of hearts is real.

  • Choosing to believe there is more out there then this current state.

  • Choosing to demand more of myself and not using the scapegoat of a problem to limit my growth potential.

  • Choosing to see all the possibilities and greatness Austin has to offer.

  • Choosing to live boldly and confidently, and do life all in.

  • Choosing to let things/situations/people Be and not get wrapped up in letting them Go.

  • Choosing to treat my dating life like I do my health and fitness.

Adjusting my subconscious by only 1-degree has already started opening up new doors. It is easy to get wrapped up in the Negative Nancy mentality, but I challenge you to look at the problem(s) you are facing head on and adjust your subconscious pattern. I can promise you that it will be a game changer, and 2019 will turn out a lot different than planned.


Unplug

Almost everything will work again if you unplug it for a few minutes...including you.

That quote hit me like a ton of bricks. I easily get caught up in crossing things off my check list, creating something new within my business, reading/learning/studying my craft; yet it is the times where I unplug, check out, and simply Be are where things fall into place. I am becoming more present to this every week. I have made it a priority to take a long walk on Saturdays as often as I can over the past few months. The walks are either with a dear friend or by myself. It's chill, fun, encouraging, and therapeutic. 

unplug

I am so thankful to have close girl friends and guys I've recently dated that create a space for me to veg out and Netflix and chill =). For some reason, it is so difficult to lay on my couch and do absolutely nothing. I feel better about myself if I am watching something educational on YouTube, reading a self-development book, or simply working. I am hard wired like that. 

However, my Type A, go-go personality needs these quiet times to unplug and center. Typing that statement and saying it out loud resonates. In my late 20s and early 30s, I would literally work myself into the ground trying to create a business and a brand. Now I have shifted to work smarter, take solid breaks to unplug, and truly appreciate quality of life over finding the next new client or project. The more I unplug, the more clear headed I get, and more opportunities come my way.

I challenge you to unplug, even if it's only for 5 minutes each day, and see how your mind, body, and soul feels. I guarantee you will not be disappointed. 

Affirmations

Affirmations

Affirmation is defined as emotional support or encouragement. Over the past year I have been reading daily affirmations while I brush my teeth in the morning. It's been an easy add-on to my day, because clearLLLLLy I am going to brush my teeth, but now it is a very intentional 2 minutes. I have 13 index cards with powerful statements written on them that encompass exactly what I want in, for, and a part of my life. I fully believe if you cannot see yourself having something or being someone then there is no way it will become a reality. There is a powerful connection that goes from the heart, to the mind, to fruition.

The picture above is a screenshot of a few of my daily affirmations. I put the note card on the top of the stack each morning based on what my main focus is for that day. This 2-minute practice has been a game changer for me! I have seen transformations in my relationships, business, and spiritual life. I view myself in a different light. I am thankful and love my body more then I ever have. I see myself as more then a personal trainer & nutrition coach, but a business owner.

Do you have a daily practice? If so, share below in the comments section. If not, I challenge you to pick 3 areas of your life you want to focus on and write an affirmation and read it daily. Check back in 30 days and let me know what has changed!

Give yourself permission to...

Maybe it's all the New Year hoopla with lose weight, feel great, reach your goals that has people in a frenzy, but I have noticed a trend among my clients of being extremely hard on themselves. I am a huge advocate of working hard to reach your goals, being diligent, and you get out what you put in; however, there also needs to be room for some self-love.

Give yourself permission to just be. Enjoy the moment. Savor the delicious meal you prepared. When you have a treat, enjoy every single bite of it. I encourage my clients to change their language around food. When you view certain foods as bad or a cheat meal, an entire array of negative emotions also start to associate with this behavior. Over time it can become a vicious cycle and gets you no where closer to your goals. I choose to use treat instead of cheat.

Pat yourself on the back. Give yourself a hug. Look in the mirror and thank God for the body you have and all that you are capable of doing. Remember, life is a journey not a destination. We are constantly growing and learning, so give yourself a break and live life. Your heart, soul, and mind will thank you.

Hugs!

Hell Yes!

If it is not a HELL YES, then it’s a No.

I am getting very clear on what it means to boldly say “HELL YES.” From career decisions, to friendships, to what I want to do on the weekends, and who I want to spend my time with, if it doesn’t equally serve both parties in the fullest, then why waste my time and theirs.

In other words, I am “trimming the fat.” Ridding my life of unnecessary things, people, and obligations that waste time and cause more frustration then fulfillment. I had my first encounters with this last week, and I left the conversations feeling lighter, honest, and confident that I had now opened up more space to allow things to come into my life that are a HELL YES. From a personal trainer perspective to my clients, this HELL YES mentality allows clients to focus in on the right things to get done and not feeling overwhelmed with a sense of having to do it all now.

I am currently reading “Essentialism.” Author, Greg McKeown, writes,

The Way of the Essentialist involves doing less, but better, so you can make the highest possible contribution. The Way of the Essentialist isn’t about getting more done in less time. It’s not about getting less done. It’s about getting only the right things done. It’s about challenging the core assumption of ‘we can have it all’ and ‘I have to do everything’ and replacing it with the pursuit of ‘the right thing, in the right way, at the right time’. It’s about regaining control of our own choices about where to spend our time and energies instead of giving others implicit permission to choose for us.

I challenge you to live a life where you focus on quality over quantity. Can you imagine how great it would feel to be able to openly and honestly say "HELL YES" to everything you took on in your life.

Be Great

Great.jpg

As I have gotten older, I see others shrinking to appease others and to make sure they fit in/stick to status quo. Not wanting to piss anyone off, hurt feelings, lose a friendship, get fired from a job, you name it, but over time this has a profound crippling effect not only on your life but on your soul.

As I was driving home the other night a song came on in my car, and I was completely moved with emotion. [Listen to it here]. Maybe it was the lyrics, the timing of listening to the song, or a simple tug on my heart where I was reminded I have a Good, Good Father, who is perfect, loves me, and provides all the answers. In a life full of chaos, it is comforting to know I can come back to home base and do what I do best, LOVE-ENCOURAGE-COACH.

I am challenging myself as well as everyone else to demand more of yourself. Demand more from others. Set big goals. Ask for help. Learn from others. Say thank you. But most importantly, BE GREAT. That is how you were created to be.

Abundant Mindset

Don't count the number of times you get knocked down. Get attached to the number of times you get back up.

I listened to a podcast with Lewis Howes interviewing Lisa Nichols on The Key to Abundance and Success. To date, this is the most powerful podcast I have listened. Maybe it's the timing of hearing it, or the delivery of her message, but I got chill bumps while driving in my car and listening to her speak.

When I think of abundance, I automatically go to wealth, financial freedom, ability to buy/give to others. Lisa takes it a step further and shares the power of an abundant mindset. I had a huge paradigm shift when she shared the following:

I have nothing to prove.
I have nothing to protect.
I have nothing to hide.
I have nothing to defend.
I like me first and every other like is bonus.

WOW. WOW. and WOW. This goes hand in hand with the sermon I heard one Sunday at Austin Ridge. It is so easy to get caught in upholding a certain image, putting on a pretty face to not disappoint, judging others because you think your way is the right way. The list could go on. What it truly comes down to is loving yourself. Loving every raw, beautiful, crazy part of who you are. You can only go as far as you feel worthy.

Lisa shared an exercise she does daily after brushing her teeth. I am going to start this tonight. It's called the I See You exercise. Say each statement out loud and follow with 7 different things.

Megan, I am proud that you....

Megan, I forgive you for...

Megan, I commit to you that...

I challenge you to take on this daily exercise. Celebrate you. Be honest. Cut the shackles. Demand more. Surround yourself with people who breathe life and abundance into your life, challenge you to live large, encourage and enrich you. My prayer is to be that person for everyone I meet.

All the goodness can be found in her new book, Abundance Now. I choose abundance.

2017 Mantra

January 2nd, 2017 (actual date written)

Lewis Howes had a fun Instagram post today. The 1st 3 words I saw were LOVE-MONEY-HAPPINESS. I am using these 3 words for my 2017 mantra. Each of them fit perfectly with what I want to truly focus on this year.

LOVE Largely - MONEY Maker - HAPPINESS Helper

LOVE Largely. My heart is open and ready to receiving love in all capacities. I want to give love to all my clients, but even more so I want to experience love in the most beautiful and strong way possible. Without love, life seems meaningless.

MONEY Maker. I am an entrepreneur, which naturally means I have a drive to make money. This phrase resonates with me, because I am going to diversify the ways I bring in income and create more opportunities to become financially free. Let's make it rain!!!

HAPPINESS Helper. I want to be more then a fitness/nutrition coach to my clients. I want to bring happiness, light, and joy to their lives every single day. It's my personal happiness project for my life and others.

What is your 2017 mantra? I challenge you to take some time this week and think about what words/phrases resonate with your soul. I have been creating a mantra each year for quite some time and every year it falls right in line with what I get out of the next 365 days.

BAM

Over the past 2 weeks I have been thinking about what resonates most with me for my 2016 mantra. Today it hit me. BAMBad Ass Miracle.

What does this mean?

The moments when you consistently are putting in the work with your career, family, training, but you see no difference. BAMBad Ass Miracle happens.

December 10th, 2015 (actual date written0

When life feels like it's falling apart, you're having a mid-life crisis; nothing makes sense. BAMBad Ass Miracle happens.

Life is trucking along. Things look great. You are content with your current circumstances, but God knows He has more in store for you. BAMBad Ass Miracle happens.

The word itself is an onomatopoeia, which means a word that phonetically imitates, resembles or suggests the source of the sound that it describes. Simply saying "BAM" gets me all fired up! It triggers my emotions and senses, and ups my adrenaline preparing me for a Bad Ass Miracle.

I have goals set out for 2016, but who knows what Bad Ass Miracles are going to happen that my mind cannot even fathom. BAM.

My Heart is so Full

October 15, 2015 (actual date written)

My heart is so full. There are moments in my life where I am overwhelmed with gratitude. Today is one of them. Nothing major or poetic happened today, but a simple realization of how blessed I am.

My heart is so full because...I got to love and hug on my little nephew, Maximus. Who knew it was possible to love a human so much that is not even yours. Being an aunt may be one of the greatest gifts God has given me.

My heart is so full because...I got to hang with my sweet sister-in-law, Cara. She is a gift from God, and I am truly thankful to have her join our family. Her love for my brother and her kids is beautiful.

My heart is so full because...I have the freedom and ability to run on this beautiful day. A few years back I was injured with a bad dose of plantar fasciitis and achillies tendonitis, and all I wanted was to be able to do sprints again. Today at the track was a perfect dose of hard work and serenity. I am thankful I have the freedom to run in the middle of the day and that I can run.

My heart is so full because...I have the best Mom and Dad! My parents moved a month ago, and I miss them so much. It's beautiful as I have grown older the relationship with my parents has shifted. My parents have always been loving and supportive but now there is this friendship and fun that I am so blessed and lucky to have. I no longer view them as this authoritative disciplinarian; they are now a dear friend and someone I confide in and can't wait to visit.

My heart is so full because...I have the best SHOWsibs! My brother, Tyler, is one of the hardest working men I know. His love and sacrifice for his family are next to none. His passion for life and commitment to excellence runs deep. I miss him everyday. My youngest sister, Kara, is one of the funniest people I know. Her smile, singing, and dancing are qualities I miss experiencing on a daily basis. Distance truly does make the heart grown fonder. And my sister, Paige. I am so thankful I have 1 family member left in the ATX. She is my best friend, and I am beyond thankful we get to experience this crazy thing called Single Life In Your 30s together.

My heart is so full because...I get to coach and change people's lives on a daily basis. I love my clients, and a lot of them have become dear friends over the past 7 years. Work does not seem like work when you coach with some of the best people in the business.

What makes your heart full?

F*ck happiness

May 7th, 2015 (actual date written)

I read an article titled, 12 Simple Mantras for when we don't feel that Great. I want to elaborate on the first point because it really struck a cord with me.

F*ck happiness. Right now, I want contentment.

As described above, we can’t avoid feeling sad at times. Ironically, we might be happy about several things and sad about others at the same time. Both are temporary. Both are fleeting. But we can be permanently content. Yes, that’s right, we can be content with everything in our life, even with our sadness. If we always find a way to be okay with what we’re experiencing, then we’re always ensuring that we’re at peace.

I always battle with contentment and ambition. When I first hear the word, contentment, my brain wants to think complacency, but that couldn't be further from the truth. Webster's Dictionary defines contentment as a state of happiness and satisfaction. Having both happiness and satisfaction is key. One without the other makes me say, "F*ck happiness." My personality is go-go, non-stop, get things done. Rest means competition is beating you. Don't slow down. Make things happen. Move and shake. I love being this way; however, too much of anything is not a good thing.

When I read the statement above it caused a paradigm shift. I can still be the Type A, crazy, non-stop traits that I possess, but at the root of it comes contentment. When I am content, new opportunities come my way. I am present. I listen. I have a heart of gratitude. I want less and give more. I do not feel the need to always be happy but content and thankful. This takes a HUGE amount of weight and stress off my shoulders and allows me to be and live freely.

What's mantra/phrase/statement resonates with you?

Perspective

October 21st, 2013 (actual date written)

Too often, we try to gain a clear perspective before it is time.

That will make us crazy.

We do not always know why things are happening the way they are. We do not always know how a particular relationship will work out. We do not always understand the source of our feelings, why we’ve been led down a particular path, what is being worked out in us, what we are learning, why we needed to recycle, why we had to wait, why we needed to go through a time of discipline, or why a door closed. How our present circumstances will work into the larger scheme of events is not always clear to us. That is how it needs to be.

Perspective will come in retrospect.

We could strain for hours today for the meaning of something that may come in an instant next year.

Let it go. We can let go of our need to figure things out, to feel in control.

Now is the time to be. To feel. To go through it. To allow things to happen. To learn. To let whatever is being worked out in us take its course.

In hindsight, we will know. It will become clear. For today, being is enough. We have been told that all things shall work out for good in our life. We can trust that to happen, even if we cannot see the place today’s events will hold in the larger picture.

Today, I will let things happen without trying to figure everything out. If clarity is not available to me today, I will trust it to come later, in retrospect. I will put simple trust in the truth that all is well, events are unfolding as they should, and all will work out for good in my life—better than I can imagine.


The excerpt above is from Language of Letting Go by Melody Beattie. Over the past year it has been a battle learning and dealing with PCOS, along with friendships changing, and life taking different courses than I had planned. I wanted an answer to all my frustrations and worries immediately, but that was clearly not God's plan for me. Now, I sit here today and am thankful for all that I have learned. I am a stronger, more confident, sympathetic, and vulnerable woman than I was a year ago. Just like the author wrote above, it is in retrospect that we see all is well. I choose to count my blessings instead of fretting over what I cannot control.

What event in your life can you see that has turned out better than you can imagine?